"The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness."
-Jon Kabat-Zin-
Do you find yourself in a constant battle to find time to be mindful? you are not alone. That seems to be a trend among many beginners and the well versed alike. And oftentimes we cut our practice short or cease completely because there are tasks and things that require our attention and as a result, we become overwhelmed. The biggest problem is we begin to feel like we are not benefiting from our mindfulness practice because we see it as; getting into the way of all the things that we need to get done.
In this article, I want to share the secret on a couple of things you can do to overcome the feeling that your mindfulness practice is getting in your way, and potentially help you keep your practice alive.
A Look At Mindfulness
Mindfulness for me has become a beautiful practice that has helped me with stressors and the negative traits I possessed. I am still dealing with a lot of this, however, mindfulness has taught me how to become aware and minimize the impact that stress has had on me at the moment. My biggest obstacle was overcoming my expectations about mindfulness. There are many conflicting ideas about what mindfulness is. And once I let all my expectations go I started seeing how it was helping me. Let's have a practical look at what mindfulness is and is not, according to some experts. What mindfulness “is not”
Mindfulness is not about being calm or any particular way- We often expect mindfulness will bring us peace or calm and relaxation. This highlights our human tendency to want pleasant experiences and to push away what is unpleasant or average. We want something, we don't get it, and then we're unhappy. We don't think it's working or we're doing it wrong. We start to judge our experience and ourselves.
Although you can indeed experience a sense of peace, calm, or relaxation while practicing mindfulness, these are not guaranteed outcomes. Mindfulness is just about noticing whatever experience we're having, including all the thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that are a part of it.
Mindfulness can significantly reduce stress, but it's not about stress reduction - rather than removing stress, mindfulness helps us learn to relate to stress differently. It may seem implausible that something as simple as listening to sounds or paying attention to our breathing can help us learn to respond to experiences healthily, but it’s what science is showing and what people are saying (and it’s certainly my experience). There are now over 25 years of research with adults showing that mindfulness helps with stress by changing our relationship to it.
Mindfulness is not the absence of thought- Instead of aiming for an empty or blank mind where no thoughts are present, we learn the skill of becoming aware of our thoughts, without necessarily doing anything with them. By just noticing thoughts, we learn how to unhook ourselves from our identification with them. This is different from pushing thoughts away. It’s how we relate to our thoughts, not the absence of them.
Mindfulness is not about being complacent - Acceptance does not mean agreement or complacency. It means acknowledging whatever's going on, which is a good idea because it's already happening. We take action to change situations when appropriate - for our well-being and the well-being of others - but we do so out of compassion and understanding versus reaction and frustration.
Mindfulness is not religious- Mindfulness practices are useful for all people, regardless of their spiritual or religious backgrounds or beliefs. It's a human experience that utilizes awareness and compassion that is within us all.
Mindfulness is not a silver bullet- When we’re under stress or going through a difficult time we might look for ‘techniques’ to help us better cope. Mindfulness works, but it is important to approach it with the right attitude. Based on many years of research, it is well established that to fully benefit from mindfulness meditation, the best approach is to have a long-term view.
What mindfulness “is”
Mindfulness, as defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn- Who introduced Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) 30 years ago, is “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally.”
This is about as much as needs to be known to make the secret of mindfulness accessible.
How I Discovered The Secret
I have been practicing mindfulness and meditation since 2008 and although I fell off the bandwagon several times I always remained attracted to meditation and the calmness that resulted from my practice. I struggled to maintain my calmness, mindfulness, and understanding outside of my 45 min meditation practice. I was failing at applying it to my daily life and in the moments that my practice and dedication was supposed to benefit me the most. I was still getting angry and upset, saying hurtful things and the like. I was disappointed and felt guilty. I was desperately searching for answers and one day I picked up Eckhart Tolle’s book- The Power Of Now and read it for the second time. That is where I found my secret.
My Secret Revealed
"practice mindfulness whenever and wherever you want and wherever you are no matter what you're doing. Just do it slower and more thoughtfully than normal."
I discovered that now; during the day to day activities, was the best time to be mindful and not during my 45 min meditation. I did this by doing everything slower, with attention to detail, sensation, and observation. It takes practice but you can apply it as you want without stopping what you're doing anything different or changing anything. As I sit here and type I can't help but notice how the sun feels on my neck and shoulders. At the same time, I am aware of my entire body in contact with the couch I'm sitting on. My fingers connect with the keys and the words appearing on the screen. This is all simultaneously taking place at this moment, and I am conscious, aware, and mindful of it all without effort, without cessation and interference of thought. A thought happens. I notice it and mind it with no attention, and seamlessly move back to the pressing of keys. Set random alarms-It was especially useful to set random alarms (vibrate) during the day to remind myself to become aware and mindful of the task that I was doing. To get involved, slow it down and I did this without expectation or time limit. I stayed mindful for as long as I could and returned to mindfulness when I remembered. I was able to remain mindful longer and many times I would automatically become mindful minutes before my reminder would alert me. I recognize there is something deeper going on that comes from the surface of the mind and awareness. Taking a shower- Taking a shower is the perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness because you most likely have not rushed anyway. Notice how the water feels running down your back across and the sound of it splashing onto the tub floor. Try to utilize as many senses as you can. Smell the freshness of the body scrub you are using. Smell it, draw in its fragrance, notice the feeling of the air and scent rushing across the receptors that allow you to smell. Close your eyes, and become aware of the space within you that this smell and; or sensation appears in. Conclusion It took me a long time to make this simple discovery. I never realized its true simplicity until I started putting it into practice. Although it may be a simplistic practice, it is far from simple, as you must be serious, and have the desire to apply this to your daily schedule. The practice of completing activities in slow motion increases your mindfulness. Attention is brought to the present, and you recognize the relationship between your thoughts, actions, and reactions. You will then be more in control over your life and how you experience it. I hope you have found my secret to mindfulness helpful, and I encourage you to try it and stay at it. The positivity is far too valuable to give up or not try at all. If you enjoy it or have some suggestions, please go ahead and do so in the comment section. Thank you.
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